I had a talk with an old friend (who happens to be an elder). He said to me "why don't you just make it official?". The context was that essentially it would just be easier if they knew where I stood. My response was that I didn't wish to place my friends and family in that place. if they know that I don't attend meetings and wish to shun me, so be it. there is no mandate for them to do so, but if they chose to do it its on them. The ones that don't, are a bit more in the "real friends" category for me.
I have faded. I have done so in a way that the elders really don't want to come after me. It would be unpleasant, and create an enemy. It would be a lot of "work" and there are a few people that would "go down" with me.
I did this on purpose, so that if they saw me with my kid at halloween, they could convince themselves they saw somebody else.
in the meantime, since I am able to talk to people, I have been able to help 3 or 4 people out. It all started with a conversation I would NOT have been able to have, if I was disassociated. They would have shunned me before I spoke.
JW's are all about technicalities. Don't feed into this one. The DA letter means nothing. they will rob you of your dignity no matter what you do. Just live your life, and be yourself.